Why the Hate? – A Guide to be Hateless

I have, lately, found huge amounts of hate and harsh comments on social media, and the Internet in general. Some of the “influencers” that I follow have addressed this issue several times, but the situation is the same, no matter what. Since the beginning of the Internet as a “democratic” source of information, I has always thought of it as the perfect way to unite people, share similar ideas and lives, and enjoy the good part of globalization, as in, sharing of knowledge and improvement of the world because of a shared necessity. However, this general sharing has, of course, its negative parts, and one of them is that the Internet does also unite negative people.

Spanish Version: ¿Por qué tanto odio? – Guía para vivir sin odiar

The “profound” comments

I have seen lots and lots of pointless negative comments, some of them being as plain as “I don’t like it”, “You are stupid”, “Kill yourself”. What is the point with them? What is the point of stating a rude comment about you not liking something or someone in that way? That comment is not only avoiding a solution/an improvement but also diminishing the person receiving the comment and having negative influence on his/her future.

Some days ago I discovered a forum that was solely devoted to criticise any and all the points of a public person, mainly “influencers” from YouTube, Instagram and so on. I found it because I was looking for some random information about a YouTuber that I follow and I saw a thread about her, full of hate, where people criticised about stupid things like “how the eyebrows are” and “the light on the videos has changed”. Only negative comments were accepted, since one person tried to defend her and the answers were “go to another forum, this one is to only say what is wrong”. Some statements were as profound as “I used to love her but now I hate her”. Wow, calm down. “Hate” is a strong word. What has that person done to you? Has she killed your beloved pet rock and pissed on your garden? Good Lord!

I have found several different types of comments, on a wide variety of topics. For example, one of the most stupid comments was “too much make up”… on a page only devoted to make up. Really? Are you following a page like that to just state there is a lot of make up on it? Genius.

Do you find yourself typing some comments or others similar to these? Then, keep reading.

Don’t feel entitled unless you have arguments

On the Internet, you can say your opinion with complete freedom, it doesn’t matter if you like or not whatever you are commenting about. Nevertheless, there is always a way to present your opinion, and that way is Respect. What does Respect mean? Respect means setting out an idea without the intention of hurting the people you are going to address and, mainly, looking for a solution of the “problem”.

And, believe me, you DON’T HAVE TO COMMENT on that post/video you have seen. The world is not going to die if you don’t say that sh*tty comment you have the urge to say. You can keep it for yourself unless it is going to make a change for the better, I mean, unless it has arguments to support itself. If not, just move on.

Because this is the most ironic thing is that people on that forum or any other social platform that I have seen, people that state those horrible comments… don’t have any argument to follow up. There was no logic involved, no motivation for that hate. It was just negativity for no reason.

Hypocritical or objective?

Imagine that there is a person that I have just met, who is also a creator and posts his/her work on the Internet. And I visit his/her profile and check said work. Imagine that, regardless of what I like or dislike about the work, I can’t stand the person. Am I going to trash that work because of its creator? Of course not! If I am going to talk about the work, I must be objective and look for the parts I like and the parts I don’t and have arguments already prepared to criticise it properly and talk about the good and the bad. If, because I can’t stand the person, everything seems horrible to me, I wouldn’t be objective but hypocritical. We have to separate the creation from the person, and the personal/subjective from the professional/objective.

If you are going to comment about the work of a person, don’t be hypocritical and criticise only the work, without taking into account the person.  If not, it is your personal opinion, not a real criticism.

Don’t use excuses and improve YOURSELF

“Not to be rude but” Girl/Boy, if you are starting your sentence with those words, the following part ain’t good! If you think your comment is, in any way, rude or mean, don’t say it! Reformulate it, think twice! You have enough time and neurons to do it!

And, please, think about this: why are you criticising that person in that horrible way? Usually, people that criticise others without a purpose do this because of envy. Do you have any kind of complex/problem about yourself? Don’t feel bad if you do, we all have. But you DO have an issue if you portray those insecurities of yours against another person just because that person is successful and has achieved in his/her life what you haven’t. If you want to be like him/her: work hard, do it everyday and support others, since you are not going to do anything by just yourself.

As Master Yoda once said:

Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.

What about supporting, creating, sharing and trying to make the world a better place for all?

I don’t mean you have to like everything you see on the Internet, as you don’t certainly like everything that you see on your life. You can and should like and dislike things as you feel it. But what I try to say is that, in case you want to comment about it, think twice: is my comment going to change, improve or redirect that person on a way I think it is better? Or is my comment just going to sink that person’s mood for no reason? Comment only if you have a constructive criticism to say, even if you dislike what you see.

If you don’t know if you comment is going to be slightly rude, do this: go to a page/profile/etc. of a person that you really like and comment something extremely positive on that profile. Do it as many days as you need until it gets a habit. Then, start analysing the work of a person and separate what is goog and what is bad and why they are like so. Finally, try to create comments that are positive even if they are talking about something that you don’t like. Trust me, it is not that hard.

By doing these little and simple steps, you will be contributing for a better place instead of rising the levels of hate a little bit more.

Don’t forget to read these posts!

Professional (De)Formation

Theatre World Day and Miguel Hernández

1 Response
  1. Engraçado que sigo uma blogger, The Dainty Squid. que também falou nesse tema esta semana mais na questão dos comentários ridiculos a outfits photoshoot.

    O problema para mim é mesmo a junção de falta de valores e um computador à tua frente. Porque senão muitos desses coments, não existiam porque as pessoas nem se davam ao trabalho algumas e nem tinham coragem.

    E sim, se uma critica não vai ser construtiva, porque raio dizes? Isso é só ser mau por estupidez.

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